I just want to send this out to the world...
For almost a decade now, I can say I have only been TRULY in love with one person. I have had several relationships after our short (but sweet) love story, but he's really the one guy I can never seem to forget. I simply cannot get over him. I have never, up to now, really moved on. I keep thinking it's a pathetic, sick cycle. One moment I choose to ignore my feelings for him, the next moment, I realize I can't live without him. Then the next moment, I abhor him after he does something horrible or something that would make me feel mounds of jealousy. Then again, I fall into a trap and wish we were back together. This has been going on for years and I still have no clue as to when this will finally end. And HOW it will end, for that matter.
THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING!!! My mind is driving me crazy. The past week has been a surge of various emotions, as I have spent almost everyday with this person. He sucks the life out of me, really. I can't explain the power he has over my being. He knows how to switch the right buttons. His effect on me is unexplainable, I can't even begin to describe the kilig, pain, confusion and happiness.
I am so blessed. God has been immensely generous, especially with the rewards I am reaping at work. My family is in excellent condition and I have the support of dear friends and relatives. I am contented. But now, with this latest turn of events, he rocked my already stable, smooth-saling boat. And the weird part about it is that there is nothing in this world that I want now, more than anything, but to be with this person again. Lord, I pray for clarity, that I may be able to make the right decisions from hereon. I trust you have something planned for me. Please guide me each step of the way.
