I was with Big most of the day yesterday. We went somewhere to check out something and had lunch with K.A. I had a good time. It felt so right sitting beside him in the car. Of course, we debated every single minute, but I guess that's the spark of our relationship.
SPARK. Hmm... speaking of which, Big had some BIG news. His Natasha was coming back next week. I was pretty taken aback when he mentioned it but it was bound to happen sometime soon anyway. I asked him what was going to happen and he just shrugged and said Natasha didn't even want to say when exactly she was arriving.
I remember reading somewhere that "old patterns repeat themselves". All the characters in my story are in this old and very familiar pattern once again. Big is still Big. Confused on what state he is in and the direction he wants to take in life. Natasha, I assume, still cares very much for Big, but too hurt still to try to work things out. And me. Still not being able to climb up that deep hole I've dug myself.
On our way home, Big mentioned that it seems like I am in for a life of single blessedness. Then he mentioned how I probably idolize Carrie too much. He followed it up with a funny remark asking who my "Mr. Big" is. Hahaha! If he only knew...
